after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
