We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
