Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
