i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
