The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
