weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
