First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize