And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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