dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
