with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize