Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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