We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
