i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize