turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Success! We fucked roommates!
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
