It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
