I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
