When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
