she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
