I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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