Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
