You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
porn star boner night. come get it.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
