He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I believe in your delicious
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
