Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
