I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
