I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
