I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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