I feel like abortions should bother me more
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
