Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Randomize
