Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
