I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
