So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
