So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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