Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
