3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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