What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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