How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize