susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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