she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
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