I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
