i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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