The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize