ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
