If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
