fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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