So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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