she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
