she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
