i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
