My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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