I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
