just come out here and I will go home with you...
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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