he thought i was a dude.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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