My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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