i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
