your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
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