Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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