Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
