Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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